Reflections on Pussygate

Author Paula Broadwell says the General was “All In”

OPP….Tis A Thrice Told Tale

The more I hear of the voluptuous intrigues and dangerous liaisons  involving powerful men at arms, spooks, spies, shameless hussies, randy generals and home  wreckin hos, the more it appears a theater of the absurd.  It is Much ado about nothing; a tempest in a teapot.  And the lamentations of Congressional members over not being told that the war weary General was tuppin a tasty tender ewe, is a burlesque on congressional oversight!

That brave and highly skilled defenders of the nation, stationed on bloody battlefields around the globe, should be driven from their post because they secretly dipped their wicks in forbidden juice boxes, with the willing compliance of its owners, is madness!

Mrs Patraeus is on the far right

Can you see why the general’s eye wandered

Forsooth! This is not a saga of  malice and murder; it is a profoundly human story, a very old and recurrent tale.  They were making whoopee, tasting forbidden fruit – getting OPP!  Witnessing all the self-righteous chatter among the commentariat, I’m flummoxed!

It seems that the media is populated with finicky prudes that would make Victorians look like sexual libertines – which more than a few were.  And like the intrepid Generals, they kept their erotic indiscretions under wraps…undercover lovers.  However the Victorians were not subjected to the various kinds of electronic snooping as today’s sexual outlaws; so they got away with it.

But this is nothing new; it has been ever thus.  The general and his lady of easy virtue committed adultery, and they did it the way good ever responsible Victorians did it.  This is no picayune observation, for the Victorians are famous for having created the most successful monogamous society in history. Yet it is conventional wisdom among students of the era that this was due in no small part to the pervasiveness of bawdy houses with love for sale, and wide spread clandestine affairs with both sexes.

The Victorians were wise enough about the ways of the world to understand that the responsible thing to do was render unto Caesar that which is Caesars, and unto God that which is God’s.  And give the Devil his due.  Hence they had their cake and ate it too.  That’s why the British upper classes have a tradition of stable families despite a history of sexual scandals.  But none of this should surprise anyone who understands the power of erotic attraction – especially forbidden fruit.

If the things you liabel to read in the bible are true; then we must earn our bread by the sweat of our brow today because Adam and Eve couldn’t resist forbidden fruit.  Let’s face it: alas Mother Nature, in her infinite wisdom and folly, planned it this way!  Bird’s do it; Bees do it, even monkeys in the trees do it!

I say let those who are without sin cast the first stone. Since I live in a glass house I shan’t throw stones.  For I have had occasion to fall under the spell of forbidden fruit and kick about in some other stallion’s stall – my steadfast resolve in the face of danger has often crumbled when confronted with the power of the nookie.  In my youth I was fired upon more than once by irate spouses for meddling with OPP.

But I have contented myself with the sure knowledge that the worse anybody can be honestly say of me is that I have coveted OPP.  All other charges are scurrilous lies purveyed by shameless charlatans, and those accusers who bear false witness against me will die the death of pole cats and stink their way to hell! I confess that I have been weak of the flesh, like Sugar Willie Clinton, but I struggled heroically not to yield to temptation.

Never-the-less I take some consolation from the fact that this weakness places me in the fraternity of the greatest men in history and the bible.  Pretty Freddie Douglass, Big Paul Robeson, and Dr. Martian “The Love Man” King; plus  I can claim kinship with David, Samson and Solomon of biblical fame; all of whom proved weaker than me when it came to temptations of the flesh….and all loved OPP.

David sent a loyal comrade at arms into battle to be slaughtered so that he might lay with his wife Bathsheba.  Samson betrayed the secret of his great strength in order to enjoy the favors of the succulent Delilah, and King Solomon, though rumored to be the wisest man in the world, turned against God to please the black and comely Makeda, Queen of Sheba!

What then can be expected of an ordinary colored man like me, or the high and mighty generals, when confronted with the irresistible charms and splendiferous pleasure of the omnipotent Nookie?  None of us can hope to be greater that these titans of history and annointed of God?

Despite the attempts by evil airhead FOX News chatter boxes to concoct a dark political  conspiracy by the Obama administration, and notwithstanding the general’s foibles and incompetence as military commanders, pussy power rules this situation.  Alas we are all like silly putty, to be manipulated and molded anyway it wishes.

And we shall all crumble when confronted with the marvelous powers of the Goody Gap.  So it is written…so it shall be!  Let the self-righteous prigs, who fain innocence of lust or licentious impulse, prattle on about who’s zooming who; but the truth shall set thee free.   Alas the indisputable truth is everybody loves OPP.

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Playthell G. Benjamin

Harlem, New York

November 14, 2012

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